THIS WEEKS BIBLE FACTS/TRIVIA/HUMOR

The Bible is the most famous and widely distributed book in history, but even people who grew up reading it are often surprised by how bizarre, dramatic, and culturally powerful its story really is. Over the centuries, the Bible has inspired wars, revolutions, masterpieces of art, blockbuster movies, and countless songs. It has also been censored, mistranslated, smuggled, stolen, and even printed with one of the most infamous typos ever made. From the legendary “Sinners’ Bible” that accidentally commanded people to commit adultery to the fact that no original biblical manuscripts still exist, these surprising Bible facts show why the world’s most influential book is also one of its strangest.

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Ten ways the Bible would be different had it been written by college students

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1. The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning -- cold.

2. The Ten Commandments would have been only five. They would have been double-spaced and written in a large font.

3. The Bible would have come out in a new edition every two years in order to limit re-selling.

4. The reason the forbidden fruit would have been eaten was that it wasn't cafeteria food.

5. Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's e-mail to abuse@romans.gov.

6. The reason Cain would have killed Abel: They were roommates.

7. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon.

8. Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes.

9. Reason why Moses and those following him would have wandered in the desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.

10. Instead of God creating everything in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.

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If Moses had received the 10 Commandments via text message:

no1 b4 me. srsly. (You shall have no other gods before Me)
dnt wrshp pix/idols (You shall not make for yourself an idol)
no omg's (You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain)
no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r) (Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy)
pos ok ur m&d r cool (Honor your father and mother)
dnt kill ppl (You shall not murder)
:-X only w/ m8 (You shall not commit adultery)
dnt steal (You shall not steal)
dnt lie re: bf (You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor)
dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob. (You shall not covet)

ttyl, YHWH (Talk to you later, GOD)

ps. wwjd? (What would Jesus do?)